The fine art of balloon animals

Palm Coast Observer
Opinion

We’ve become one of those distracted families: noses looking at phones, long silences between questions and answers. So, we’ve been looking for a family hobby. Something to get us off our devices and have some good, old-fashioned fun.

One night this week, my family attempted something I never would have imagined if it weren’t for something my 9-year-old son, Jackson, got at Cub Scouts: a kit for making balloon animals.

It wasn’t what I had in mind for a hobby, exactly. I’ve always been scared of clowns. But I did my duty and sat with everyone on the couch and pumped up long, skinny balloons. We squinted thoughtfully at the instruction booklet, and we started twisting. We cringed through every squeak of the rubber, expecting the balloons to pop whenever the tension slipped.

We managed to limit the casualties, but still, not everything went according to plan. My 7-year-old son, Grant, eventually tossed his aside and said, “I can’t change it from a one-legged dog.” My wife, Hailey, created an elephant that I mistakenly identified as Pinocchio. Mine wasn’t any better: My improvised cat ended up as a glob of large intestines.

But Jackson was a champ. He had no fear. His lions looked like lions. And his teddy bear made his 3-year-old sister, Elizabeth, squeal for joy.

In fact, Ellie insisted on taking her teddy bear to bed. Like any good parent would, I told her no because it could give her a rash. Or choke her. Or strangle her. Or give her balloonitis. But she batted her sad, cartoon eyes, and of course she crawled under her covers with the balloon teddy bear.

In the next couple of days, Ellie’s teddy bear was loved to pieces. It started to look less like a bear and more like a weasel, and then more like a worm that had eaten a frog.

“Where’s my teddy bear?” she would ask.

As I watched her wander aimlessly in search of the erstwhile bear, I suddenly wished I were a balloon-animal-creating clown who could make her laugh at a moment’s notice. I imagined selling the house and becoming a traveling circus act: the Von Trapp Family Balloon Artists.

It would be an adventure. A family hobby. And maybe we could use our royalty checks for matching new iPhones.