Vacant gingerbread houses are eyesores

Palm Coast Observer
Opinion

The safety tips in the box to the right are key to enjoying the holiday season. But allow me to add a few of my own:

1. Never allow your son to hang a strand of tinsel across the lower bunk bed. You will find that, in the middle of the night, he will rub the strand until all that is left is a pile of silver sparkles all over the bedroom floor. The chances that someone other than you will vacuum it up are quite small.

And even worse, as you lean in to kiss him goodnight, you will not see the naked strand that used to be full of tinsel, and it will clothesline you across the Adam’s apple.

2. Do not make gingerbread houses. While they are nice decorations in theory, they don’t stay that way. You will find that your children will slink in and out of the kitchen with more frequency, and that the peppermint disc hubcaps on the ginger car will be gone. The ginger wagonload of sour gummies will disappear. The frosting icicles that used to be hanging from the ginger roof will be pulverized into sticky powder on the kitchen floor.

These vandalized gingerbread houses are true eyesores. The value of the surrounding countertops suffers, and it could lead to something as drastic as your wife bundling up the whole ginger neighborhood and demolishing it. Even the mail clutter that grows back in its place is better than dilapidated houses.

3. Do not step on Christmas tree ornaments. Even more important than that rule is, if you do happen to step on one and break it, do not step on the broken pieces, which are even sharper and more painful.

Have any other safety tips? Email [email protected].