On building a basketball hoop, just like a buff guy

Reliving old glory days that never really existed is what being a dad is all about.
By: 
Jun. 20, 2017

The customer reviews online warned that it could take four hours to build this thing, and boy were they right.

A few weeks before Father’s Day, I treated myself to a new basketball hoop from Walmart, and let’s just say there were a lot of pieces in the box.

About five hours into the four-hour project, my 13-year-old son, Jackson, said, "I think the manufacturer assumes a bunch of buff guys are working on this."

One the best moments was discovering the cap to the water tank. This simple piece could make all the difference.

For those who don’t know much about driveway basketball hoops, they’re top heavy, and if you don’t fill up the water tank as the base, the whole thing can get knocked over in a gust of wind.

I learned this lesson the hard way with my previous basketball hoop, which I bought used several years ago from someone across town. It was in fine shape except it was missing the cap to the water tank. I wheeled it in front of my house and got a lot of use out it. And if I ever wanted to know whether the water had evaporated in the tank, all I had to do was look outside and see if the hoop was standing up or lying down in the grass.

Unfortunately, a hoop can only take that fall so many times before the rim becomes an oval instead of a true circle. I would still go out and shoot baskets to get some exercise in the mornings, but the shape of the rim started to make my shooting percentage deteriorate. And I’ve always been proud of my shooting percentage.

Thus, the new hoop for Father’s Day. Because reliving old glory days that never really existed is what being a dad is all about.

After we bought the hoop-in-a-box, a week or two went by, and it was still in the box, because it wouldn’t be a good McMillan home improvement project if we built it right away.

Now that it’s finally up, towering majestically over the red ant mounds that surround my little patio, I can practice my moves before work in the morning. Just like a buff guy.