Joint custody of a pet can sometimes be just the right fit

Palm Coast Observer
Your Town

by: Amy Wade-Carotenuto

Executive Director, Flagler Humane Society

Are you one of those folks that would really love to have a pet but just feel that perhaps it’s not the best idea? Do you work super long days and it just wouldn’t be fair to a dog? Or do you travel a lot and wonder who would watch the pet while you’re gone? Or are you just at an age where you’re concerned that a pet might outlive you? Recent experiences have led me to believe that joint custody of a pet might be a really cool thing.

Sure, there are details that would need to be worked out. Who is responsible for veterinary costs? Training and expected pet behavior must be consistent. Who would make the difficult decision when the pet’s end of life is close? It might be advisable to have one primary owner who is liable if anything goes wrong and who is the true decision maker.

Pets are often fought over in divorces and relationship break-ups. I’ve known people who amicably worked out shared custody of their pets. It actually helped the exes move from a place of anger to a place of friendship. They may not be in love with each other anymore, but they can agree that they both adore their pets.

Sperry, a shar pei/pit mix, "works" at the shelter (check out our staff page and you will see her in her position as Director of Kisses). Sperry works beside me every day. After a busy day, she sleeps in my office at the shelter. Last Thanksgiving, Lee, founder of Black Tie Events, an event planning organization that helps area nonprofits, asked about taking Sperry home for a long weekend. Lee shares a home with and cares for her mother. Mom loves dogs, but Lee fosters tiny kittens, so not every dog would be a match. Lee has a busy schedule and a full-time pet just would be too much. So Sperry spent the Thanksgiving holiday with Lee, Lee’s mom and a group of foster kittens. Sperry is loving and gentle with cats and kittens — even helps mother them a bit. Things went so well that Lee asked to have Sperry over Christmas and New Year’s as well. Before we knew it, we were sharing Sperry.

Every Friday night I drop her off at Lee’s on my way home. On Tuesday morning, Lee brings her back to the shelter. (Sperry gets long weekends.) Lee and I laugh about the way Sperry seems to know her schedule. Lee says that Tuesday mornings Sperry waits by the door, ready to come back to her many friends and fans at the shelter. Then on the flip side, I see Sperry on Friday afternoons getting all excited when I gather up my things to go home; she’s ready to go for a ride to Lee’s to see Mom.

It may be a little unconventional; however, if you really want to have a pet in your life but you just don’t think you can commit to a full-time pet, talk to a couple of good friends. You never know; they might feel the same way.