When I got wind that Entrepreneur Night launched a contest to name an Entrepreneur of the Month at each of its networking events, I immediately got to work on a business plan.
It didn’t matter what my company would be, you understand; what mattered was that there was glory on the line, and I had to have it. So, I went online and filled out an application, which is copied below.
What follows is the accumulation of a month’s hard work and determination. I agree when you say that my essay is a testament to the human will and spirit, especially in these hard economic times. And even though it makes me blush, I agree, too, when you say that I’m an inspiration.
I’m flattered, but I agree. You’re simply too kind.
Name: Mike Cavaliere
Business name: Cavaliere & Sons Enterprises LLC Inc.
How long have you been in business: 45 minutes
Free-style essay: OK, you got me: I have no “sons,” per se. But Cavaliere & Sons Enterprises LLC Inc. is, was and always will be a family company. Literally. We put our talents to work every day occupying the households of empty nesters, lonely singles and anybody else looking for someone to fill that annoying cold spot in their beds.
Looking for a friend to cook dinner for? Call Cavaliere & Sons.
Not enough of your own laundry to fill a full load? Cavaliere & Sons always has dirty laundry lying around.
Need someone to bring on that boring Mediterranean vacation? You guessed it — Cavaliere & Sons is available for that, too.
Let’s face facts: “Real” friends are unpredictable and selfish. Sometimes they have other “plans” or don’t return text messages. But here at Cavaliere & Sons, you are our plans. For the low, low price of $30/hour, I will personally accompany any Flagler resident for a morning, afternoon or evening adventure — on their dime, of course. I also accept gifts, affection and money orders.
Obviously, eligible young girls get first preference in all schedule-making.
What was your darkest night? It was about six months after college graduation when I got a letter in the mail claiming that my deferment period was over and I’d have to start paying back my student loans. Believing it to be some sort of sick joke, I of course ripped the paper to shreds and trashed it. But soon, another letter arrived, this time claiming that I owed a payment, plus late fees.
After tiring myself out from a good old fashioned tantrum, it occurred to me, as I lay crumpled in the corner of a room in my parents’ house, that all that money I spent in college was real. And worse: I’d have to get a job to pay it off.
It was horrible. Why was this happening to me? I wondered. What was I going to do with my life? How would I live?
I ate half a carton of ice cream and passed out watching episodes of “The Cosby Show,” hating Theo for having his education paid for by his goody-two-shoe parents and their stupid, tacky sweaters.
What was your ‘AHA!’ moment? People need people. That’s a fact. It’s also a fact that I love free meals and easy paychecks. So I wondered: how can I turn my passion for stress-free living into a career path?
Then it hit me — and by “it,” I of course mean the opportunity to win something.
This is America! I thought, after reading about the Entrepreneur of the Month contest. Land of the free, home of people who believe in picking themselves up by the bootstraps!
So I came up with Cavaliere & Sons, and the rest is history.
After all, people always say, Do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. That is — exactly — my plan.
Why does the world need your business? This is like asking why the world needs apple pie or baseball. It’s like asking why things like smiles or Cinnamon Toast Crunch are “necessary.” The question is cockamamie and I won’t justify it with a response.
— Follow Mike on Twitter: @MikeCav_.
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