You had me at 'Is there a problem, officer?'

Palm Coast Observer
Opinion

They have refused to cooperate with any publicity. We’re private people, they say. Well, there are no secrets on Free For All Friday, the 10 a.m. Friday news show, on 1550 AM WNZF.

Host David Ayres had Maj. David O’Brien, of the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office, on his show Jan. 13, and asked him for details about his engagement to Flagler County Commissioner Milissa Holland.

According to Ayres, O’Brien turned red. But he wasn’t getting out of this one. He was live, on the air. Drumroll: O’Brien and Holland are getting married in April. Applause!

What O’Brien didn’t know when they first started dating, he said, was that they had met years earlier. She was 19 when he pulled her over on Florida Park Drive for speeding.

Jon Netts will be performing the wedding ceremony. Yes, that Jon Netts — the mayor.

Problems with the Tooth Fairy
I imagine the Tooth Fairy lives in a world built out of all the teeth she has taken from underneath kids’ pillows. The streets are made of baby cobbleteeth. The Tooth Fairy’s dog chews on handfuls of teeth for breakfast, perhaps.

If any of this is wrong, please let me know.

Because as far as I know, there isn’t a lot of information out there about the winged one. Unlike Santa, she never makes guest appearances in cartoons or at department stores. The Tooth Fairy doesn’t parachute into Flagler Beach every year.

My wife pulled my 7-year-old son’s wobbly front tooth from his mouth at dinner the other night, and I cringed. It was a strange twist to the image of a young boy sitting on Santa’s lap. Instead of asking for presents, he was asking for an extraction.

I love the Tooth Fairy. The only beef I have with her is that she forgets occasionally. The first time he lost a tooth, my son put the enamel pebble in a plastic baggie under his pillow. Unfortunately, the Tooth Fairy must have gotten distracted watching a movie. Early the next morning, my son woke me up; my heart sank at his downcast eyes. He was betrayed by a woman he has never met.

Fortunately, my wife then had the brilliant idea to use an old fondue dish as a tooth holder. That way, when my son goes to bed, the tooth is in the dish on the kitchen counter, sitting out in the open, and it’s easier for the Tooth Fairy to remember.

Next tooth, son woke up, checked the fondue, same result. Nada.

“This Tooth Fairy,” I told my wife. “How can she live with herself, disappointing kids like that?”

But, in the course of the morning, getting ready for school, eating cereal — somehow the Tooth Fairy’s magic worked, and a dollar bill showed up in the dish.

Then there are the comparisons. My son’s friend got $5 from the Tooth Fairy, and he only gets a measly $1. When I was a kid, I got a quarter, I told him, but that didn’t impress.

The Tooth Fairy is contributing to our entitlement society. If I ever do meet her, I’ll suggest she take a lesson from Santa and put coal under kids’ pillows if they’re not grateful.

TRAGIC COINCIDENCE
Those who follow the news in Flagler County may have heard of two incidents regarding distracted drivers in recent months.

First, there was Deputy John Castanheira who, as he was leaving the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office just after midnight Dec. 1, was distracted by his laptop in his patrol car, and he ran off the road. He was not injured, but he did run into a guide wire to a streetlight.

Earlier in the day, at around 4:20 p.m. Nov. 30, a driver was talking to his children in the backseat as he drove on Sesame Boulevard, in Palm Coast, and his car struck a jogger named Josefina Reid. She was killed.

The name of the driver was Antonio Castanheira.

Many have already heard those two stories, but few may have realized that the two men are brothers. Both were distracted, both crashed their vehicles — within about nine hours of each other.

It’s a bizarre coincidence. But it’s a good reminder to everyone to drive safely. Don’t text and drive. Don’t take your eyes off the road. You never know if something embarrassing — or tragic — could happen.

HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED
Chuck Smarr stopped into my office the other day. He recently came across an old medical bill for his wife, Inez Joy Riggs Smarr, from 1945. For 13 days of room and board at a hospital in West Virginia, plus blood work and other procedures, the grand total was $49.75.

Things have a changed a bit since then, haven’t they?

“Oh, my goodness,” Smarr said. The Smarrs have 10 children and 32 grandchildren. He’s also a master gardener in Palm Coast.

Inez was given a quarter back as change for her hospital bill of $49.75 in 1945. PHOTO BY BRIAN MCMILLAN